Daddy's Girl

Well, today I decided to stop being lazy and write a blog myself.  After 1 year, 7 months, and 27 days of getting thrust into fatherhood, I can honestly say that I've learned more in this stretch of time than I had in all of the rest of my life.  While few people know this, I'm actually one of the most emotional people on Earth.  And the reason I don't write on this blog is because the thought that goes into it will undoubtedly bring me to tears.  Many times in life, I've asked myself the question, "What makes me special?"  I always feel like everyone else has things figured out and have amazing things about them that make them special.  Meanwhile, my life seems like the most ordinary thing possible.  That isn't to say that I don't have an amazing family and great friends, but it just means that I don't view myself as being special.  It sometimes makes it hard for me to find meaning in my life.  That has always been a tough inner demon to fight.  That was until Callie.  The first time I knew my life had meaning was when I held her in my arms.

So here we are, a few days removed from my little angel turning 20 months old.  Caitlyn and I decided to take her to the playground today because it was so nice out.

 

 I honestly don't know what life was like before her.  She gives our lives more meaning and purpose than we could have ever imagined!

 

 

And that smile just melts my heart.  I sit and watch her sometimes and think about how fast the minutes are flying past me.  I catch myself reciting the words to a Kenny Chesney song in my head, "Gotta grab each moment that I can, 'cause I'm never gonna feel like this again!" The thought creeps in that my time on Earth with her is fleeting.  And I need to start making sure I spend it wisely.  Daddy loves you Callie bug.  Thank you for being the thing that gives my life meaning and I promise to never forget it!

What Life is All About

I have been a little slack on Callie's blog. Life can get pretty busy. We are a little over 2 months until I graduate from pharmacy school! People always ask you "what's your favorite age?"..that's an unfair question. We have loved everyday since she the day was born. There are great times in every phase. Right now we are watching her grow into her own little person and it is amazing to see. I have had a few moments that have stopped me right in my tracks and made me think "this is what life is all about" and I wanted to share that with you guys. 

I love being a mom. Nothing makes me happier than seeing her sweet little smile run across the room at me when I walk in after a long day, hearing her innocent laugh (and laughing along with her), comforting her when she bumps into something, and watching her grow into the little girl I have always prayed for. These times are wonderful, but by far my favorite time to be called "mama" is in the middle of the night. It's what people talk about the most when you are pregnant. It seems like everyone you talk to says "better rest while you can" but you don't really know what that means. Then you bring that precious little baby home from the hospital and find out exactly why they said that. It's nothing you can prepare for. It's several weeks that you spend stumbling around like a zombie and praying they may sleep just a few more minutes the next time. When they sleep, you are supposed to sleep. You can't though, you watch them sleep. You admire them breathe in and out, so innocent, and those little baby snores are to die for. Then one day you wake up to the sunrising outside and you have slept all night. You panic. Like every mom you assume something must be wrong and you run across the house to realize that sweet little baby that used to need you during the middle of the night doesn't anymore. She can sleep 8+ hours without you. After what seems like forever without sleep you celebrate. There are occasional episodes she still wakes you, so you feed & rock her back to sleep. Never really thinking twice. You get back to bed in record time. You have mastered this routine. 

I reflected on all this a few nights ago and realized just how precious these times are. She doesn't need me during the night anymore, but once every few weeks she wakes up. I sit up in bed and listen to the baby monitor. I can tell by her tone within seconds when she needs her mom. I walk into her room and grab her. She hands me her blanket and we go into the living room. 

It's these moments when she isn't crying, no cell phone, TV, lights, or anyone else to distract us. Just me and her big eyes looking up at me. She clings onto me like I hung the moon that barely shines in the room. It's these times when I feel the most at peace. The world is quiet. Just me and her are awake. It's these moments that you begin to realize what life is really about and how precious time is. You start to soak these few minutes in because it's these times you will think back on when she goes to kindergarten, graduates high school, and tells you she is in love. It's these little moments I will forever treasure. 

Thanks for reading :) Check back for Easter pictures soon!